Stop searching for words if you want to speak a language fluently

You might relate. You're speaking a different language and suddenly you forget a word. Your mind goes blank. You know exactly what you want to say, but you can't remember the word for it. So you pause, and the conversation stops.

When you're living in a different country this can be really annoying. You're trying to connect with locals and make friends, to feel involved and integrated, and you struggle to find the right words when you need them to keep the conversation flowing.

The good news is there's a simple technique, and you're already using it in your native language without knowing. I'm James, I'm a native English speaker, I speak Spanish and Italian, and I have 13 years of language learning experience. It's built around three strategies: describe, explain and example.

1. Describe

When you forget a word, instead of the conversation stopping, use other or simpler words to describe it. If I want to say "shop" and can't remember it, I can say "the place that sells things". Or something more niche, like umbrella: "the thing you use to stop getting wet when it's raining".

Sometimes it won't get you exactly the word you want, but in the context of the conversation, and based on what you've said so far, the native speaker can usually work out what you mean. That's what matters.

2. Explain

Explain what the word is used for. If you want "platform" at a train station, you might say, "the thing you wait at for the train". A native speaker will most likely say, "I know what you mean, platform." This is great for everyday situations where you know the idea but can't remember the noun.

3. Example

Give a similar example of what you mean. If you forget the word for "appointment", you can say, "it's when you arrange to see the doctor at a certain time". Or if something's fully booked, you can say you have no more of these, and the "these" are appointments.

The goal isn't to be perfect with every word. It's to communicate. In the past you'd have frozen and the conversation would have stopped when you forgot a key word. These three methods let you get past that block and get your point across, so they can reply and the conversation continues.

You might feel reluctant to join in when natives are talking because you remember forgetting a word and don't want it to happen again. This helps with that fear, because it gives you a way round not knowing the right word.

If you're living abroad, it can be the difference between a conversation dying with someone you're trying to get to know better, and you saying a few words to get around it so the conversation keeps flowing and you get to know them on a deeper level. It's practical for everyday things too, like the doctor's, the pharmacist or asking for directions.

Finally, many of you might be nervous about practising with native speakers in real life. I built Voco, where you practise spoken conversations with an AI persona. You choose the persona, it understands your interests and hobbies, what you're good and bad at, and teaches you over time how to improve. It feels like speaking with a friend rather than a robot, with less pressure than feeling awkward in real life, because it's forgiving and doesn't judge.