The filter in your brain that stops you speaking with natives
Your brain won't let you say anything it doesn't think is perfect. Here's how to lower that threshold so you can keep the conversation going.
When it comes to replying to native speakers, your brain has a filter. If it doesn't think what you're about to say will be absolutely perfect, it won't let you say anything at all. It's a bit like giving a presentation to a lot of people. You might freeze because you want everything to be perfect.
This is learned behaviour. Your brain is trying to protect you from saying something wrong and being embarrassed. Maybe you had a bad experience in the past where you tried to say something in your target language and messed up. You mispronounced something, or forgot the right word.
The solution is to lower the threshold at which your brain will let you speak.
Simplify the words you use
If you forget a word, or you're not sure what the correct one is, use other words to get round it. If I forget the word umbrella, I can say "the thing you hold to stop you getting wet when it's raining outside". You probably already do this in English.
You're telling your brain: if I don't know the exact word, that's okay, you can still say it. Use other words to describe what you mean, and the conversation keeps going.
Swap words you're scared to pronounce
You might struggle with pronouncing a word, or tried before and are too scared to say it again because the risk of messing it up or not being understood feels too high. If you're not 100% confident, use a different word that represents it, or a few simpler words to get round it.
In both cases you're teaching your brain that if you're not perfect, that's fine, you can still keep going. You're lowering the threshold of what it will allow you to say from 100% to maybe 70%, or even 50%, as long as you get your meaning across. That's the main thing.
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About me
Hi, I'm James Hutchinson
I'm a native English speaker, and I've spent 13 years learning Spanish and Italian. I've lived abroad too, so I know exactly what it feels like to freeze mid-conversation. I make videos on the psychology of speaking a new language, and I built Voco so you can practise real conversations without the pressure.